Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
