rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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