please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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