she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
