You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
