just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
