i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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