i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
