Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
