So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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