My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
my shit smells like andre
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
