It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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