if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
