true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
