I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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