I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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