hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
