You really coming over, don't trick.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
