he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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