the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
