I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
