Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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