ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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