Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
i think my cat just said my name.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
