New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
