Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
God, I missed his penis.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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