I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
