i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
