Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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