So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
