I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i think my tv is drunk
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
