I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I need a beard to bite.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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