Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
