are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
