he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize