The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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