"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
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