He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
