He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
