Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
