??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
