After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Randomize
