I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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