So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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