he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
