HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Farmville is her only friend.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
