Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
