i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
