As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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