It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
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