is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
